If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
