We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
