Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
