I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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