im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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