Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
