Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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