Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
