It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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