I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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