Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
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Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
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My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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