I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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