Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize