its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
