So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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