Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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