I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
