I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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