The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize