I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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