Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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