I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
