Moan for me like Helen Keller
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
