Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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