i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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