I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
