Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize