Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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