i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
