she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
