I wish I could punch you in the face.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
