I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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