Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
