You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
