it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
