So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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