Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
