i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
