He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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