I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
