yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
