Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
