Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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