Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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(317): View more from Indiana

You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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(602): View more from Arizona

They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.

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