Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Use "feeling words"
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.