ADVERTISEMENT

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish i was spraying into your jaw.

  Fav 12 3369 1254

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.

  Fav 19 5370 1446

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

  (678): View more from Georgia

  you spelled her name wrong

  (404): View more from Georgia

  not you too!!

  Fav 49 1844 4830

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

  Fav 13 7278 1416

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

  Fav 1 913 2251

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

  Fav 4 2490 733

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

  Fav 2 1082 712

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

  Fav 7 917 1688

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP

  (207): View more from Maine

  Do we still have any pizza left from last night?

  Fav 10 946 832

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

  Fav 1 476 784

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.

  Fav 0 651 525

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.

  Fav 3 740 488

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.

  Fav 0 334 176

  share tweet
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow

  Fav 1 37 25

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...

  Fav 4 70 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize