she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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