How drunk are you??
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?