your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The air taste purple.
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