ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
