i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Randomize
