put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
