addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
