Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
