I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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