Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
