I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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