That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
