Tell her she can't have a vagina
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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