do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
