Cold hands, warm shart.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
