do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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