Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
where am i from again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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