I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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