So drunk, too bad you don't want this
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
