Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
